Posts by finding my way

59

Do you regret confessing your sins to the elders?

by asilentone in

yes, i do!

i did it 20 years ago, but the elders still remember what i did, sometimes i wish they never knew about it.

.

finding my way

Yes, when I had gone to the elders as a young teen for smaller things I thought it would help me progress spiritually and it backfired. I was forever considered bad association even when I was being very "good". I felt like I could never be great enough to please everyone. When I was 20 I went for a more serious matter and I felt revictimized but didn't realize that's what had happened until years later. They brushed certain serious things under the rug that had been done to me and yet asked me detailed questions that I find repulsive.

On the other hand, if I hadn't I might still be a witness and not as happy as I am now ;)

~fmy

35

Suing Parents for Cult Indoctrination

by jeanniebeanz in

has anyone ever heard of suing their parents for raising them as a member of a cult?.

kids sue their parents for other forms of abuse and courts take such lawsuits seriously.

do you think it would be possible to win a lawsuit brought because your parents chose to force you into a cult?.

finding my way

My Mom was baptized after 3 months of even knowing about witnesses. I was two years old and she wanted me to have a better life than she felt she could provide at the time. The witnesses provided her with a black and white way to raise me and she thought she was doing me a favor. Ironically she has now lost me as a daughter and I am dead to her because of the grip they have.

She had good intentions, and I don't think suing would be an answer. In America though, people have won lawsuits over less so it's possible..

~fmy

31

Hi - new kid on th block

by nearlyfree in

jw
friends

i have been looking at this website for about 2 months now and feel i am now ready to say hi and intoduce myself.i dont want to give out too much info at this point in time as i still am in the org, but have only been to 2 meetings since the district convention in august and last time i went out on service was in march.

i was basically raised in the truth as my parents became jw when i was 2. i was married in my late teens and after 21 years of being married to a total control freak he left me (yay).

anyway since me ex left, i had been doing a lot of thinking about being a witness, and i wasnt really going to a lot of meetings - just didnt feel like it.

finding my way

welcome :)

29

How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.

in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.

i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.

finding my way

ugh. I can't believe I actually typed "non-believers"

29

How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.

in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.

i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.

finding my way

the real life,

You know me I have a big mouth. I made my decision that I don't want to be a witness fairly recently. I felt like thoughts and facts were pouring over and I couldn't keep shut. I'm sure some people think it's not that big of a deal which is why I like this site so I can talk about things and people totally get it. I can't help but tell people whenever religion or holidays comes up. I've told a lot of work members that I don't celebrate most holidays (I work in the school system and holidays come up alot) because I was raised a JW (most have heard of the religion) I usually follow that with a "I'm not sure how I feel about them now, but I guess I still don't celebrate them accept for birthdays." I've recently decided a birthday is no different than a weddinng anniversary to me and it doesn't say not to in the bible anyways. I also recently started telling my friends and non-JW family "Happy Birthday" on Facebook and I don't really care if one of my JW family members sees or hears about it. (My Mom has my cousins on her Facebook account). We don't have a relationship anyways and I've decided I just want to be myself and not hide too much.

I don't have deep conversations about it with any non-believers unless they actually seem interested though. One co-worker of mine kept asking me questions and couldn't believe some of the things I've gone through. Funny thing is, I haven't really been through very much when I compare my story with others on here.

I kind of admire your ability to keep things reserved. I've always wished I could be more like that. Maybe someday i'll get used to being a loudmouth.

~fmy

20

Do you ever turn off the music?

by compound complex in

greetings fellow music lovers:.

given the numerous "name your favorite tune" threads that are posted here on jwn, it appears that none of us can live without la belle musique.

often my cd player runs through the night.

finding my way

interesting question I used to listen to music constantly!!! I figured out that it was because I couldn't handle dealing with my thoughts. It helped me mask emotions. Now that I've worked through some things I find that I Naturally listen to music less. I do have to be conscious of what my current favorite distractions are. I still have that tendency to want to shut down my brain when I feel I can't handle life.

I love music though. I sang all through school and my family was pretty musical.

side point...sometimes I get stupid songs stuck in my head and they bother me when I'm trying to sleep. Hate that!

~fmy

25

Confusion

by tryingtoexit in

jw
friends

okay so i'm very very very close to presenting all my evidence for why i no longer want to be a jw to my parents and my wife.

we will be together just the 4 of us during the christmas season as we have that time off.

i've gathered enough information in the past 12/13 months to do this, 607/1914, birthdays, faithful & discreet slave, cult mind control/fear, false prophecies, preaching, etc.. but one thing i am still unsure of or have trouble understanding/explaining is the true answer to some things in revelation.. i know many chrisitans believe they are going to heaven, but in my "deprogramming stages" i cant figure out:.

finding my way

great advice already. I wish I had heard it BEFORE I said just a few little tiny things to a couple members. It didn't go well.

A good friend of mine you used to pioneer left when I was DF'd but still thought it was truth. I cried and asked her why. I just couldn't understand. She didn't give me ANY details and it bugged me, but sooner than later, I began to put the pieces together by myself and I'm glad she didn't say anything specific to me. We can now talk about it, but it may have been bad had she of disclosed everything to me. I might have thought she was being influenced by Satan...

~fmy

15

Do you keep JW pictures???

by Albert Einstein in

jw
friends

after many years of very active live in jw religion we have thousands of jw related pictures ... conventions, jw guests, jw friends ..... so btw - do you keep yours, or did you get rid of them?.

my wife is still mentally in, so throwing all of them out is not on the agenda, but i dont really want to watch it .... it makes me feel embarassed how stupid i was ... on the other hand, i might want to keep some ... its still part of my life.... albert.

finding my way

I have mine and don't intend to get rid of them. Already, several JW friends have become inactive and questioning or straight up left so I'm still in touch with many of the people in those photos. You never know who may leave next.

~fmy

15

Do you keep JW pictures???

by Albert Einstein in

jw
friends

after many years of very active live in jw religion we have thousands of jw related pictures ... conventions, jw guests, jw friends ..... so btw - do you keep yours, or did you get rid of them?.

my wife is still mentally in, so throwing all of them out is not on the agenda, but i dont really want to watch it .... it makes me feel embarassed how stupid i was ... on the other hand, i might want to keep some ... its still part of my life.... albert.

finding my way

duplicate. oops

89

Being Under Cult Mind Control is a Psychological Disorder - Steve Hassan

by flipper in

jw
friends

thought perhaps some newer members who haven't heard some of hassan's thoughts on mind control might relate to this from their own experiences in jehovah's witnesses .

even though mind control is initiated by the cult involved in controlling it's members - hassan points out - it actually becomes a psychological disorder which can entrap the victim himself or herself - all the while - as they are being controlled by the leaders of cults.. on page 55 of hassan's book " releasing the bonds - empowering people to think for themselves " it states what happens in a destructive cult , " in a destructive cult, the locus of control shifts to the group or it's leader .

the new recruit abdicates his ability to make decisions.

finding my way

LeavingWT, I saw this video on TV awhile back and was especially shocked that he succeeded in taking 2 wives from other members and convinced young girls to lay naked with him In the Name of GOD! It just shows how the human mind can be manipulated. If "normal" people can be convinced that these things are good and acceptable, than you can easily see how the Watchtower can suceed in convincing it's followers of the things it does. What's also interesting is that while he convinced his followers that the above things mentioned were Godly, the members that have left are still allowed back to see their parents if they wish... Not so with the JW's obviously.

~fmy